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Igbo Men Should Rethink Their Mindset on Male Children

Written by Oryiman David Mson

In many Igbo communities, there’s a deeply ingrained belief that a man’s life is incomplete without a male child. This mindset often leads to unnecessary pressure and complex family issues, as seen in the story shared by a concerned individual.

A man reached out to share his friend’s predicament. His problems began when his wife left him after a series of conflicts. The couple had been at odds, with the wife resorting to extreme measures like laying curses while performing unsettling rituals. To escape the tension, the man rented a small apartment where he eventually started a relationship with another woman, whom he had helped in the past.

During this period, his wife traveled to her hometown with their special needs son. Tragically, the boy, their only son, drowned in a swimming pool. Devastated, the wife returned, accusing the man’s new lover of causing their son’s death, and then left the marriage, taking their daughters with her.

The situation grew more complicated when the man’s lover experienced multiple miscarriages. She later told him that a curse from his wife was preventing him from having more children. This revelation disturbed him, especially since he was desperate for a son.

Around the same time, he began seeing another woman, and both his lover and this new woman became pregnant. The first woman gave birth to a boy, while the new woman had a girl. He now faces a dilemma: he likes the second woman more but feels obligated to the first woman because she bore him a son.

However, his family disapproves of his relationship with the first woman, believing she may have had a role in his son’s death. The man also has complaints about her, noting that she is demanding, her family has moved in with them, and they are not contributing financially.

In contrast, the second woman, who he prefers, brings him peace, keeps a clean home, and is an excellent cook. He is torn between guilt and his desire for a stable, happy life.

A Shift in Perspective

This man’s story highlights the dangers of the cultural obsession with having a male child. The pressure to produce a son can lead to poor decisions, emotional instability, and family discord. If male children were meant to play a crucial role in one’s life, they would come naturally. But when life gives daughters, it’s essential to cherish them, as they are the ones who will be there when it truly matters.

In this man’s case, it’s crucial to approach the situation with a clear mind. He should consider getting a DNA test for the newborns, as his desperation may have made him vulnerable to manipulation. Moreover, he should reflect on whether his pursuit of a male child has clouded his judgment and contributed to his wife’s emotional turmoil.

Ultimately, bringing a contentious or self-serving person into one’s home for the sake of a son is not worth the emotional and financial toll. It’s essential to value the children you have, regardless of their gender, and to prioritize peace and genuine care in your relationships.

Final Thoughts

This story serves as a reminder that the gender of a child should not determine their worth or the stability of a family. What truly matters is the love, care, and respect shared among family members.

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About the author

Oryiman David Mson

I am a multi-talented Singer, Blogger, graphic designer, website designer, hypeman, music promoter from Konshisha, Benue Nigeria living in Lagos State.
WhatsApp for deal 09115016970

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